To me, grounding qualifies as anything that makes your brain shut up for a moment, so you can get back on track with whatever you were doing.
That being said, there is one thing that I find more grounding than anything else. This thing will shut your brain up and make you and your life feel so much simpler, so much lighter.
The thing is being kind to someone else. It’s a pretty easy thing to do.
I’m gonna discuss why being kind makes me feel grounded and how you can use kindness to your advantage.
Why Does it Work?
The whole purpose of grounding techniques is to bring you out of your present thoughts and back into the simpler world just around you. So when you make someone else feel good or special, it follows that your concern for yourself and your present thoughts eases just a bit.
And as soon as you become less concerned about your thoughts, they become easier to deal with. After all, if you’re able to make other people feel good even when you don’t, you have that power over your mind.
You may think that it’s a bit selfish to be kind to someone for no other sake than your own. And it is. But who cares? I’m seeing a win-win situation here.
I know it’s a fairly Laissez-faire attitude to have, but the bottom line is, by making someone feel good, you’re helping both you and that person.
Another thing that makes this technique so valuable is that it’s very versatile. No matter where you are in your life, you will have the opportunity to ease the suffering of others. And the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
So take advantage!
How to Do it
There are tons of ways to make someone else’s lives easier. And it absolutely, absolutely, does not have to be by giving them compliments. I find that trying to force compliments is not good, and if you don’t absolutely mean it, it can feel awkward.
I’m just gonna throw out some suggestions, but if you ever have an urge to do something nice, don’t forget that urge for the sake of your comfort.
It’s probably okay to be impulsive if the impulse is to be kind to someone else.
- Give your seat up
- Pay for someone else’s food
- Make a donation to a charity you care about (I suggest BBRF!)
- Help people clean up their space
- Give someone your time to help them
- Asks questions and listen to people
- Make simple polite gestures
- Avoid mindless complaints (Don’t get complaining confused with expressing yourself! The former is exhausting and the latter is helpful!)
- Write someone a snail mail letter (hella fun)
If you do something nice for someone else, your mind will immediately become more attuned to simpler pleasures.
It feels paradoxical to be nice for the sake of yourself, and you may think it won’t ever be genuine, but I promise that it’s easy to grow to enjoy it.
I’ll admit that this is something I really want to work on for myself. I want to make kindness a habit, because I’ve noticed how nice it feels.
All of our lives are different. So if you think it would help, make a list of things you could do to be nice. Don’t be afraid to get specific, using other people’s names and highly detailed ideas. Writing them down will make them easier to achieve, and it will make being kind feel like a much less abstract goal.
If done correctly, kindness will eventually become a habit you don’t even have to think much about. Sorry I got off my promised posting schedule; I graduated the 24th, had a grad party the 25th, and was out for most of the 26th and 7th. Thank you for being patient.
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